Some words about life, and the transition from childhood to an adult…

 Life is a strange thing…

I feel that i am on the bank of a river with my bare feet planted firmly in the deeply packed sand,

Yet i am looking at the meadow on the other side of the river where it seems i have just left

And yet

Again, it seems so far away.

I frolicked in the meadow of wildflowers 

Until caught by the allure of the dashing river which ran through it

I skipped towards it and when i met its swift waters

for a while i felt i might drown

But then i was lifted up and somehow made it to the shore.

When i looked up i was on the other side.

I cried, that wasn’t what i wanted

I am not ready! I haven’t prepared!

“Please take me back!”

I tried to turn but the meadow had turned to a misty mirage

I stubbornly fought to keep my former life intact but it no longer fit,

I had grown beyond its grasp 

And i had no choice but to embrace this other side of the river

My heart is pulled towards the glittering future 

With its bright prospects 

So full of unknowns and the details are so blurry within its promises 

While i feel a strong bittersweet pull to the childhood i once knew.

Full of deep conversations and even deeper thoughts and still free of the fears today

My heart longs for the carefree friendships and community 

While cherishing what those friendships have matured into.

And grieving the ones lost along the way

It seems so strange.

These emotions all felt at once..

Joy for new life.

Regret for the death of the childlike friendships.

And a deep awe and appreciation for the mature, life giving relationships today.

(I am no poet by any means but this is me taking a leap and sharing some words… I feel shy to call it anything, I wrote this a few weeks ago but was hesitant to share or call it by a name. Is it poetry? Prose? An essay? Does it even fit anywhere? I don’t  know but I hope that it will interest someone… even if it doesn’t, putting together words like a string of beads brings me joy!)